The Thief and the Judge
Regional, Humour, 3/26/1999

A story took place in old Baghdad. A thief went to a house with the purpose of robbing it. As he stood on his ladder and grasped the window, the sash, which was old and frail, came away in his hand, and he fell to the ground and broke his leg. He thereupon brought suit for his injury against the owner of the house.

The Qadhi (Arabic for judge), said gravely: "The question is two-fold. We shall leave out of consideration for the present, the first aspect, namely, the legitimacy of the plaintiff's errand. Granting, then, its legitimacy, we shall proceed to examine the matter of the blame."

So he summoned the owner of the house, as being culpable to the extent of having his window in such a condition that it contributed to the serious injury of another.

The defense of the owner was, however, perfectly cogent and convincing. He said: "I knew the sash was old and frail, and had indeed ordered a carpenter to repair it. The window was to have been replaced by sunset, but it was not, so, manifestly, it is not my fault but the carpenter's."

"That is very plain," said the Qadhi, and forthwith summoned the carpenter.

In his defense, however, the carpenter pleaded as follows: "I had in very truth undertaken to replace the window by sunset, but in the last half hour, a beautiful woman passed by, clothed in a dazzling blue gown. I was so entranced by the vision that I forgot all else. Then the sun set, then it was called for prayer, night came on, and I could not finish the work. Plainly, then, it is the woman who is to blame."

"As Allah is our witness," said the Qadhi, "You speak truth." Thereupon the woman was called upon and brought.

"As for my beauty," she said with assurance, "Allah gave me my face and figure. Summon Him if you wish."

"Nay," said the Qadhi, "but you surely chose your own clothing."

"Contrariwise," said the woman, "I went to a dyer and bade him dye me this gown and it is therefore the dyer you must call."

"Now you are getting to the bottom of things," said the Qadhi as he ordered the dyer to appear.

But, unabashed and unafraid the dyer remarked stoutly: "It is true. This beautiful woman bade me dye her a garment to match her beautiful face. Calling upon all my knowledge and skill, I produced this gown. If that is my crime, then, I am guilty and am willing to take the consequences."

"At last," said the Qadhi, "We have real culprit." So he sentenced the dyer to be hanged in a gateway of the city. But the gateway was too low, and the dyer was too tall, so the Qadhi found another and shorter dyer and hanged him.

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