How to make love
Politics, 7/7/2007

7-7-2007

How to make love. It seems like it should be easy instruction to give to someone, and when I look around, there seems to be plenty of love. People you know, or meet, or strangers can and do give enormous amounts of love. Parents to children, and children to parents. Husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, friends to each others and strangers to each other as well. But despite all of this love we see, there seems to be so much love missing in our lives and the world. So much more love is missing.

This missing love is what I want to talk about. I think I know where it is and how to find it, but I am not sure. As a man, I very much miss the love of a woman, or many women. I am looking to find it in that special woman that will sweep me off my feet with her looks, and her touch, and her spirit, or her laugh, so that I can feel love and its warmth, and joy, and its sensuality and the feeling of being alive.

But as I search and wait for that special woman to come into my life, I would like to also find peace. Peace of mind, and peace on earth. Why peace on earth? As someone who has suffered wars, and saw and felt what it does, I just got tired of war and fighting, or watching and listening to it. I thought I had a better idea. Peace. I wanted peace for myself, for my family and for my town and country of origin, Lebanon, and my country now, the USA, and I figured that instead of moving my family to the USA, where there is local peace, where that would be simpler, fast and easy solution, I had the idea of working on the much more convoluted problem of creating world peace, so that my family can have peace where ever they are, and this way, I can have peace too. If the plan worked, a side benefit of it would be that the world would have peace as well. Not a very smart way to have personal peace, but then again, I am not a very smart person, and I have my own ways.

As someone who is blessed and cursed at the same time to be involved in the news business, I have the fortune to help some, as well as the misfortune to see and deal with much misery. And since one of my beats is the Middle East, this rotten peace of land in which much war, suffering and injustice exists, I get the opportunity to report and to talk about it. And as I was fumbling to cover the latest news, and daily routines of Israelis beating down, or bombing or imprisoning or destroying, I came on a picture of the Israeli foreign Minister Tzipi Livni. Tzipi Livni is a woman that also is the Vice Prime Minister of Israel. As I looked at her picture, I saw it was an attractive picture. It was not the picture that was attractive, but the woman herself. It was a small picture of her, and without much details. But her eyes, which looked in the picture kind of blue, grabbed me. I loved these eyes, and instead of seeing the eyes of an Israeli official, whose country I consider has amongst the lowest moral values of nations, I was looking at Livni as a woman. I love women, and especially beautiful women. And in that moment, I could see what I knew all along, that it is people, individuals, that matter, and not societies or countries. I am the kind of person who can love his enemies. I can love anyone. But I never considered Livni to be my enemy, or the Israelis. As someone born and spent first 17 years of life in Lebanon, an Arab state, Israel was the enemy. But as the years went on, and living in the United States, and after I started one of the earliest electronic news publications covering the Arab states, within a short span of years, I knew I had defeated Israel. I have since defeated Israel many times since. So Israel is not much of a challenge for me. They won some small battles but they lost the major recent wars since I came along.

So when I look at Israel and Israelis, I do not see an enemy, but I some times feel pity for them. Pity for their standards of how they treat other people, Palestinians mostly, but others as well. The sad part about writing is that inevitably, is that it involves some generalization, and as such, to speak of Israelis or Jews, is to paint with such a wide brush that it is sheer crass and injustice to many of them. There are Israelis and Jews, especially Jews, that I love very dearly, for they are more loving and probably have much much better values than I do. They are more loving and caring and giving. There are Jews who would rather see Israel not exist than to have an Israel that is the way it is, and are fighting to see Israel not exist. They value the ideas of love and justice much more than they value the idea of a country named Israel. So inevitably, as I write, I will do much harm to these Jews or Israelis that feel this way, and therefore, my focus is on the others who are not this way, and who seem to be the majority, as they are the ones that determine who rules in that country.

So as I looked at Livni's picture, I said to myself: I can make love to this woman, and would love to do so. I never met her in real life, and sometimes, pictures can be deceiving, as I know my picture is. I don't even know if she is married or not, and I may decide not to make love to her anyway if we do not hit it off if we ever meet. If she is married, I would not make love to her, but I am sure her husband should be flattered that another man find his wife to be attractive and should not be offended by these remarks, as they are not meant to be. So no harm is done here. But if she is not married, I figured, that as I have decided to create peace on earth, and was ready to hold a conference to start that process, if I met Livni, who knows? I maybe able to make love to her, and maybe create my own private peace plan with her. It will be her and I making the peace and making love, and others would have it too after. But since the conference has not started, and I do not know if this is fantasy or not, I will just have to wait and see what develops.

And so, as I try to find a woman to make love to, while I am busy living in the USA, the idea of why people don't spend as much time trying to make love as they do trying to make war is puzzling to me. The answer can be as simple as "people do not know how to make love."

I wrote in my new book that the USA will spend maybe $100 billion on war in Iraq this year alone, but will not spend $100 on peace and love in Iraq. Congress will pass a law for 100 or 200 or 300 billion dollars for war, and even $600 billion on war, if need be, but will not spend this amount on peace and love instead. They will not do it because the citizens will not allow it, yet. And that is what is so odd about love. People would rather spend all this money on war than on peace or love, when spending on peace and love will yield much better results, longer lasting results, and much faster results. So how can I explain this oddity of human behavior, which is clearly irrational behavior, if you assume the premise of what I am saying to be true. Let me give some rough example just to illustrate the point. If we take roughly half the annual US military budget, $300 billion dollars, and hand it to the Iraqis in cash, where there are about 5 million Iraqi families (I am assuming 5 Iraqis per family of a population of 26 million), then each Iraqi family in one year will receive about $60,000 dollars in cash, which is the income they would need to work for many years to have. If tomorrow, we went ahead and told all the Iraqis, there is $60,000 waiting for them to collect, on the condition that we want them to have peace with your neighbors. Would we not have peace the next day, or the next week, or the next months? Sure there will be a handful that may not accept this offer, and that is no a big deal. Cities around the world have their daily dosage of crime, and Iraq would be no different. But peace, there would be. Now, how about we say we are in a hurry, and Europe and Japan decide to match this amount? That would be about $120,000 given to each family. Now how about we only give this money, not to families that already want peace, let us say most Iraqis, but to those who do not want peace, which maybe as 10 to 30 percent a portion of the population, for example. Then that may leave us, maybe, with about $500,000 to a million dollars to give to each family that opposes peace in Iraq. Now, do you think you can buy peace or not for that kind of money? Is this stretching your thinking outside the box? And is it better to keep spending money year after year on war and destruction, or as one time payment, for permanent peace, and saving the money in the years ahead for more productive use, and maybe to reinforce peace with super infusion economic shots? And, do you think this is fantasy or not? If you think it is fantasy, then clearly, simple logic may not be good enough for you. You must be a much more intelligent person than I am. Or, much more likely, human behavior many times has little to do with logic and what works, and is rather the result of habits, and being conditioned to base and motivate their behavior based more on fear and hate rather than love and hope.

So this is a peace plan for Israel, and Iraq, and the Irish, and Indians and Pakistanis and the rest of the world (I'll call it World Peace 2010). It is really this simple. And it is really this complicated if you insist on it being so. It is your choice. What is standing in the way of such a plan is how you want to look at the issues, and what logic you want to use. But if it is logic you want, I think I just gave you some.

But as an American, what has all this to do with me, if I was not also Lebanese? A lot. As an American, I love certain ideas and ideals and especially, I love Americans. Not because I am one. Not at all. I just find many Americans to be lovable, be it in their ways, or their history or just for what they are. Nothing special really. It is like saying I love blue eye, or green eyes, or brown eyes. They can all look equally beautiful, and so are the people of this earth. But Americans, have had I think a unique history that brought about some ideals that I find beautiful. Ideas that are disliked elsewhere, and are even hated by many Americans themselves. One idea I've written about is that of Liberty. Liberty is a very strange concept, that I am not sure even many Americans quite fully appreciate. While recently reading the book "Peace Kills" by the author P.J. O'Rourke, in one of the chapters, he was talking about when he was in Iraq during the start of the second Iraq war, and he was talking to American soldiers who discussed "a campaign" "to return the Statue of Liberty to the French: Take the Bitch Back." These US soldier were clearly upset at the French opposition to the Iraq war at the time. Now, even a foreigner who may hate the USA, to call the Statue of Libery a bitch may be very impolite. Most Americans may be embarrassed or ashamed to have the Statue of Liberty called a bitch, and would find it very offensive. But, how about an American soldier calling the Statue of Liberty a bitch? That may be extremely impolite and improper or offensive of a US soldier who is suppose to help protect the ideals of this country, for which the Statue of Liberty is among its most sacred. But to me, I was immediately struck by the beauty of what these soldiers were saying. I had written extensively during the war about the French role, in support of a strong assertive French position, and how bad the US was acting, and I strongly opposed the war before it started. But what these US soldiers were saying was music to my ears. It was the sound of this country's founders who stood for Liberty. Liberty, even for those who want to call Statue Of Liberty a "bitch." That lady was no bitch to me. That lady was my baby, and I was very proud of these Americans who dared to call my baby a bitch. Even if they did not know it or feel it, these Americans were all that this country was founded upon. To be free to say as you damn pleased, and that the beauty of this bitch is what allows them to do so.

Now, will the rest of the world understand this? Can they understand this America? Can Americans understand this America? I am not sure. As I listen to many Americans, I see them all too anxious for war, and to want to impose things on other people. Impose their interests, or values, or prejudices, be it against Muslims, or some poor guy or family who cannot afford a lawyer to be labeled or harassed as a terrorist, or some poor country we want to impose our will upon, because of our might. Lots of public talk of this kind, about enforcing rather than convincing or loving. Of course, there are plenty of other Americans who share my views, and I will not speak of them here, but not mentioning this, only gives an unbalanced view of why I love many Americans, and why others may not understand many Americans.

Love is not naive nor is it naivety. Love is something very precious that is more powerful than war and weapons. We as humans, have not mastered the art of love, and its use. You can create love or buy love or make love. Any of these can be much better alternative than war and imposing our will on others, when done properly. Love is a much smarter way to solve problems. Sadly, I must admit, I have not mastered love either. I find myself when stressed reverting to instincts I learned from the earthlings that surround me. Your ways have overwhelmed my instincts to want to love and use love.

So why can't the Israelis and Palestinians make love to each other instead of war and destruction. Why can't they be generous in their love? We do not have to pity them, as they are like us in many ways. Trapped and ignorant of better ways. Just as ignorant as I was, and still can be. Instead of enjoying the best of each other, as human beings, and instead of sitting at dinner tables together, and intermarry, and make love, and dance together, and build a nation or nations together, they are busy killing and destroying each other, and denying each other's humanity. I will not say both are to blame. And I will not now blame Israel for being as the aggressor, even if I can, and I have done so in the past. I blame Israel because it can be generous, since it has so much more, while the Palestinian have so little, and received so much misery. So I puzzle? If those who cling to Israel or Jerusalem are decent or religious people who believe in good? What good are their believes if they are devoid and incapable of love and generosity?

Jerusalem does not seem like a holy city to me. It seems like a city of filth. A city of misery. If it is scorched, it may be all too good, and well worth the cleansing this will bring about. This is anger speaking. Anger because this city is not a city of peace or love. It is the city of hate and injustice. Why would anyone want to own this city is not very clear. It is very valuable as a historic city, and thus has great economic value for tourism. But as for its moral values, this city is very impoverished indeed. So what is this fight about? Bricks and stones and land? Sure these can be valuable, and many can claim it as their home town. But do the inhabitants of these lands value stones and land more than the ideals that Jerusalem supposedly stands for: peace? It seems that they do value stones more than the ideals of peace, love and generosity. That is why Jerusalem is a city of idol worshipers. Worshipers of stone and land. And so long as you do, how can you know true peace and know justice, and know love?

Amongst these lands walked a man, who while on the cross, had the love and intelligence and unbelievable specialness to say "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." It seems like we have not learned enough from him. Some Jews may have wanted him killed or thought or think of him as a heretic. Some Muslims hate his followers and think they are heretics. And some Christians may not even know who he is, they do their Christian prayers just before they go to war asking for his blessing! In light of what I just said, do you think you are practicing his teachings?

But now, I am 44 years old, and I want to talk to you about love. What little I know of it. Make love, and lots of it. Go to the Church of in Beth Lehem and make love in it. Make love to your god, and to each other. Just make love and love each other. Enjoy each other. Take yourself a couple of thousand years back, when you both, as a people, walked that area as nomads, and make love in tents where you once lived, or in fancy hotels. Fancy each other, your differences and similarities. Find things to share and have joy in, instead of the misery you dwell in. And if politicians want to come in the way, lead yourself. There are courageous leaders, very courageous ones, and there are very courageous individuals to lead as well. But make no gamesmanship of this, just to win. For once, play to enjoy and have fun and have love, instead of playing to win. That is how you can both win.

But if you don't play nice, I may not either. You don't know who I am. I can be very giving. And if you want war, I may give you war, and if you want misery, I may give you misery, or if you want peace, I may give you peace. But why not give yourself peace? Why wait on others to give it to you. You have been given freedom to act for yourself? Do you want this freedom taken away from you so that others can act on your behalf? Why then have such freedom? You have been given freedom to act.

I, for myself, I want to heave peace, as a human being, and I am lovingly asking for your help. I want peace on earth. Peace in the Middle East, in Asia, peace in Africa, and other places there is conflict between nations. I would like to see peace, and I would like it done in three years from today. This is plenty of time, and time enough to get busy.

After that I may want to go live and die in my town Kab-Elias, or in Jerusalem, and or stay in the USA. I don't know. Right know, I am in my other country, the USA, and the USA is called "God's country" for a reason. I am an American, but I am also a citizen of the world, and I want to enjoy this world, all of it if I can, and all its people. And I would like to see other Americans and other people enjoy it as well. I would like us to enjoy each other, and the blessings that peace may bring.

So you have your task before you. This is the project, and I hope that you will join me or lead with me, or lead. Contact me, and help.

As for me, and for right now, I will keep looking for the love of a woman in my life. I am looking for a beautiful woman that will show me what love is, and teach me how to make love. I am divorced and have two children, but I am still a virgin in many ways. I will be waiting for that woman that is going to, knock on my door maybe, or come across my path, from a nearby place, or maybe from far away, such as from India and her named would be Shakra, that will make me feel love, great passionate love. And after this, I would have learned more about love, and will maybe comeback to write some more about love, since I would have learned a little bit more.

I hope to do that in three years from today, when we can all on earth celebrate that special day of peace on earth. And as you sit at the peace table, with me, or without me, remember that I loved you first.

By,
Jamil Kazoun


Author of the newly retitled book: A Second American Revolution: Creating Rational Government
and the newly released book: A Third American Revolution: A New World Government . A Plan for Liberty, Justice and Peace"

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